Going Through Changes...

Well hello there everyone!

No, I haven't fallen off the end of the world - just been biding my time and mulling over the future of 'Just Nat'.

Sounds rather ominous, doesn't it? Nah, not really.... I've thinking for a while of re-branding myself, more along the lines of a proper grown up Travel Blog (rather than a 'Random Nonsense and a Dash of Travel Stuff' blog).

It's a work in progress (embryonic really) but I've started migrating a few bits and pieces to my new home at.....

Ta dah! Drum roll and fanfare.....

Nat's Travelogue

I plan to rework some of the old rubbish, spice it up with some recent travels (a lot's been going on!) and maybe add a couple of travel tips along the way.

I'd love it if you popped by the new neighbourhood, and do please bear with me while I migrate your contacts into my new reader too...

Hasta luego mis amigos!

PS I started learning Spanish this year too.

BullSh*t Bingo

Way back in the days when I had loads and loads to say for myself... you know, before the Great Loss of Nat’s Blogging Mojo of 2012... I wrote about how when I first came to live in the UK, I had to learn to communicate with the locals over here. You’d be forgiven for thinking that would be an easy task - we all speak the Queen’s English, right? Wrong! Regional accents, different slang words and inflections in totally different places only served to confound me almost daily.

But eventually I figured it all out.... I got it sorted! I stopped calling traffic lights "robots", mobiles "cell phones", and restricted use of the word "pants" to talking about my unmentionables (my undergarments) and never in the singular (as in "I wore a jean pant", a phrase quite commonly spoken in the beautiful southern African accent).

I soon learnt that a geyser is a natural fountain that throws up jets of hot water and steam. It’s also the British equivalent of the American slang word "dude"... a bloke who's a bit hard and thinks he's the “dogs' bollocks”. It is certainly not the hot water tank in your house. I now know that someone is not insulting me when they tell me that something I own or have done is “the dogs' bollocks!”. Not so if they tell me I am talking bollocks.

I answer the greeting "Allright?" with "Allright?" and I feel no urge to contradict anyone ending every sentence with "...know what I mean?" since this does not in fact require any formal response, such as "Yes, I do know what you mean" or "No, I am not quite sure what you mean....please elaborate." Ditto, the terms "right?" and "innit?!" do not phase me in the slightest, as they require no further action on my part.

Having overcome that first language barrier, I was then faced with the even bigger task of getting to grips with the frankly quite ridiculous language flying around the corporate world. Now, I am not a business person. In fact, an ex-boss once told me that I completely lacked any sense of business acumen (note, I said ex-boss). I did not take this as an insult....after all, I spent nine years of my life studying medical science, with the express purpose of avoiding spending my working life conversing with a bunch of suits in their uniquely irritating BS (Bull Shit aka Business Speak), 24/7.



With all due respect to those who are actually in the business world, and who like to be pro-active...those who thrive on brainstorming, on getting their ducks in a row and then touching base to get a heads-up on whether they’re singing from the same hymn sheet, before going forward and pushing the envelope out...at the end of the day, BS is not rocket science (even if it does involve some blue sky thinking).

Nonetheless, I do still like to think outside the box....and some long, hard days at work, I just have to find humour in things that are obviously not intended to be funny in the slightest. Very Important and Serious Stuff, don’tchaknow?

Exhibit A
This gem in an email from Annoying Demanding Client #1 today:

Here are the very important and serious data that I requested. There are some outstanding queries that will need addressing, and I am riding herd on those.

Riding herd?

What on earth? Has Annoying Demanding Client #1 branched out into cattle farming? Does she don a power dressing suit and cowboy boots and go round up a few long horns before hitting the office in the mornings?

According to the Fount of All Knowledge (Google), to ride herd on something means to keep watch or control over it. Nothing whatsoever to do with cowboys.

Pity. But that’s a good enough excuse to post some cowboy-related eye candy.....

This gentleman first put in an appearance back here

My goal for next week....to incorporate that golden nugget into an email back to Annoying Demanding Client #1, or even better, casually drop it into the conversation in a teleconference without rolling off my chair in hysterics.

A massive challenge... but rest assured, I’ll be riding herd on that and definitely giving it 110%!

Blog Posts Of Christmases Past

It's almost Christmas already and I've not posted anything even vaguely festive this year.... apart from sharing that recipe for my now infamous booze-addled Christmas cake back in November. Perhaps I peaked too soon? With fortnightly rum top-ups, the cake is quite possibly a sitting fire hazard by now... perhaps best not to serve it with the flaming brandy pudding!

Then I suppose there was the rather silly behaviour at my office Christmas party this year ... you'd think I would know a lot better, especially since I wrote a whole post about the folly of those overindulging in alcoholic beverages in front of their work colleagues, round about this time last year....10 Reasons Not To Get Drunk At Your Office Christmas Party! How the mighty how fallen?! If there's one thing I hate, it's a hypocrite....

Another thing I detest? Satan's little green balls! They're everywhere at the moment, rather like some recurring, annoying little Christmas jingle. This witty (or perhaps rather shitty!) little ditty first appeared way back in 2009 on this somewhat odious (!) post here.....

Nat's Ode To Brussels Sprouts

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

I loathe to spy thee lying on my plate

All small and green and round

I detest thee, soggy vegetable

I abhor thy sulphur scent

Boiled or roasted, steamed or fried

I hate thee for thou bitter taste

It makes me gag and twist my face

And later I hate thee even more

When two hours on, the air turns poor!

And sprouts are not the only things I hate about Christmas. Indeed, I made a whole list last year... only 5 Things I Hate About Christmas? Huh! I reckon my list grows yearly, as I become more crotchety and bah humbugish in my dotage. Mostly, I'm just fed up with the growing commercialisation of it all... the fact that it all seems to be less about spending time with your loved ones, and more about how much loot you can get! Mind you, there was a time when getting the latest "Baby Doll In A Rocking Cradle" was a very big thing for me...

Yes, back in the "olden days" when Christmas for me fell in the middle of a hot Southern hemisphere summer holiday... sun, sand and surf. A barbeque and the beach.... now I dream about a white Christmas, coz it looks pretty... for a while...but I really just can't be bothered with all that inevitable slush, ice and shovelling snow! Chances of snow are in fact very slim in the UK this Christmas, with temperatures set to soar to a tropical 11C later this week... Global Warming anyone?

Can you now see what I've managed to do here? Cobble together a whole post, pretty much from the posts of Christmases past. Needs must when a serious lack of inspiration and a heavy dosage of laziness sets in...and all that egg nog. Nothing wrong with a bit of recycling - the BBC do this all the time.... rerun the same old programmes at Christmas, year in, year out, with just the odd sprinkling of something new to trick viewers into thinking they're getting value for their licence fees.


So, I may not have wowed you all with my original seasonal prose today, but I'll leave you with a shot of my "fabulously festive" Christmas tree at least....

Happy Christmas everyone!

Me, Myself and Nat

So...after bombarding you all with nothing but photos from my now not-so-recent South African trip these past few weeks [read “She’s too darn lazy to write anything these days!”], I thought I’d mix things up a bit with some rather random ramblings of the written variety.

Confused yet? Keep reading....

This goes out in response to this blog award that the fabulous Meowlissa at Meowlissa the Domesticated has bestowed upon me....

If you don’t know Meowlissa yet, you really should go and check her blog out...not only is she a very talented artist, she is one witty lady with a sense of humour that strikes just the right chord with me  [Meowlissa, is this enough grovelling to qualify for my acceptance speech?].... and like me, she’s a big fan of monkeys, which is always a good thing.

As is usually the case with these Bloggy Oscars, there are some acceptance rules....

#1 Thank and link back to the person that has given you this award.

Thanks M! Just in case you missed the bit above/skimmed over it hoping to get to the juicy bit, here’s where she hangs out.... Meowlissa the Domesticated

#2 Share 7 things about yourself.
OK, how on earth can I share anything even vaguely original or interesting about me that I haven’t already bored you all with written about before? More importantly, is there anything even vaguely original or interesting about me? Perhaps not, but I’m going to go for a Days Of The Week/Days of My Life theme... “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...”

Sunday

And the child that is born on the Sabbath Day,
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

I don't fit that description on so many fronts ... but in one aspect it’s true: I made my grand entrance into this world (or more accurately, the Lady Chancellor Maternity Ward, Salisbury, Rhodesia [now Mbuya Nehanda, Parirenyatwa Hospital, Harare, Zimbabwe]) in the early hours of Sunday, January 20^th 1974. My mom had a very quick labour (this being the 1970s that was lucky as it was natural childbirth and all that shite, with my dad keeping well out of things until he was presented with a clean, but wriggly little girl, weighing in at almost 8 pounds and with a full head of hair).

You can read more about the world that I was born into in one of my earliest attempts at blogging, over here.

Monday

Important things have happened to me on a Monday... I went from being Miss Nat to Dr Nat in the Jamieson Hall, University of Cape Town one sunny December afternoon back in 2001. Exactly one week later, overlooking Noordhoek Beach on an even sunnier and scorchingly hot day, I became Mrs B...but I kept the Dr Nat part too (coz I’m vain like that!).

Tuesday

I really hate Tuesdays... I do! I even wrote a whole post about my hatred for them over here.

Bad things always happen on Tuesdays... one of the most memorable for me is the tragic and unnecessary death of a bright, outgoing, 30-year old colleague who suffered an embolism after a DVT was overlooked. May 17^th, 2005 – she is never forgotten.

Wednesday

This is the day I have to don corporate gear (as opposed to my usual scruffy shirk-at-home attire) and head into my office. Typically a long day, including a 4-hour round trip, that usually leaves me feeling hung out to dry and not really fit for purpose by the end of it. Wednesday’s a good night to collapse on the couch, one eye on rubbishy TV, another perusing your entertaining blogs, and the third eye...har! Just checking you’re still awake at the halfway mark...

Thursday

Thursday evenings, you’re likely to find me being thrown around/throwing others around the mat of the Aikido dojo, and generally embarrassing myself with my ineptness and lack of hand versus foot co-ordination. 

Friday

At last the weekend is here, although sometimes it’s a bit reluctant to kick off. Why are work deadlines always set to Friday evening…especially if I have plans to get away in good time? Fridays are frequently freakin' frantic!

Saturday

The best day of the week! Given a choice, I would spent it exploring somewhere new, taking loads of photos and just generally being outdoors. More often than not, we're away visiting friends and family or hosting for the weekend, but every now and again it's nice to just veg at home, on our own. An ideal Saturday at home for me would start with a good, long lie-in, then tea in bed before an invigorating pre-breakfast….walk. Some time to potter about and maybe get some chores and shopping done, before meeting friends for dinner.

Yes, I have life-membership to the Boring Old Farts Club…

And that’s the end of that....

#3 Award 15 blogs you feel deserve the award.

This is really the worst part about these things - how do you award some people and not others? How about those who aren’t into these blog award things? Let me make my life easy... if you’re on my Blog Roll (see right hand side of page) consider yourself awarded! Haaaa! GOTCHA!

#4 Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

On my To Do List

A Drive Through Snowdonia

I thought you might enjoy a bit of a road trip with me, through part of Snowdonia (Eryri), North Wales....

Wish I Was There Tuesday

The Maldives - photo found here

Maldives beach - photo found here

Maldives restaurant - photo found here

You can see my own photos of Paradise here. It feels like decades ago and not just three years since I was there and I really want to go again someday...there are just so many other places in the world to see in one lifetime.

Where do you wish you were today?

Help!

I've mentioned before that I'm going to be taking part in a charity half-marathon walk - it's next weekend! The organisers of the walk are holding a photo competition - the idea being to enter a pic taken on any of your training walks and of any subject.

I am really tempted to enter something from my Canadian trip...technically, I had already registered for the marathon before I left on my travels, and there was an awful lot of walking involved to get some of the photos! But that would possibly be deemed as cheating, and with such spectacular scenery to choose from, I'd certainly have an unfair advantage.

Anyway, I've selected a few "possible" entries from the photos I have quite randomly been taking on my walks... mostly along the fields and woods surrounding my home village. Some of these I've already posted on here, others are new.

Now I need to ask you, my dear readers, a BIG favour... do you think any of the following photos would be worthy of entry into the competition and if so, which one do you like best?

Be honest....

For best viewing, click on the photo to enlarge, then click BACK to return to my blog

A - Sunset behind the trees

B - Blackberries along the field

C - Frisky horses (I did contemplate 'Biggus Dickus')

D - Hay bales in the evening sunshine

E - Freshly mown hay in the evening sunlight

F - Nat's long shadow in the hay field

G - Fields of Gold

H - A Ray Of Light

I - Another sunset behind the trees

Thank you! Your opinion is valued...

Friday Fear Factor

We all have things that we’re afraid of, but I think I’m above average when it comes to racking up the phobias. Here are just five of the many things that freak me out...

1. Flying
I am utterly terrified of flying. It kind of spoils the travelling lark, but I try to use legal pharmaceuticals to not completely freak out and scream hysterically every time the plane hits the slightest little bit of turbulence. I think my fear stems from a bad experience when I was quite young. I was on a flight to Australia and was walking back from the toilet when the plane hit the edge of a cyclone over the Mozambique Channel, and dropped like a stone. I fell in the aisle, and whacked my face on the floor. The overhead lockers popped open, hand luggage fell out and hit some passengers, and the oxygen masks flopped down...even the air crew were shitting themselves! Since then, I’ve had the delight of an aborted landing in heavy fog over Heathrow and a flight from hell back from the States, when the turbulence was so bad that the crew spent 7 of the 9 hours strapped in their seats.

Any news of plane crashes always grab my attention. With morbid fascination, I’ll trawl through the crash details, which will then get filed in my brain under “Resort to Nervous Wreck When On An Aeroplane Aids”, ready to pop up the next time I’m strapped into a plane seat, waiting for the roar of engines to signal the start of that race down the runway to take-off. That’s the point when I always feel trapped. I can’t stand up and shout “Let me off!”... well, I possibly could, but I would definitely piss off the other passengers, almost certainly be labelled a lunatic and probably be banned from flying... which would kind of get in the way of my travel plans. Suck another Rescue Remedy pastille, and dig fingernail stubs into B’s arm (if travelling alone, random stranger’s arm).

2. Spiders
If there’s one creature on this planet that reduces me to a shrieking, shivering wreck, it’s the creepy crawly eight-legged variety! I can actually pinpoint the source of my phobia to an incident quite early in my childhood – I can’t have been much older than about 3 at the time. Growing up in Africa, there were spiders aplenty, some pretty nasty ones too....like the baboon spider. This tale involves a harmless brown house spider. I was naturally curious about these strange creatures that ran silently along the walls and ceilings. I recall going up to touch one....then feeling the spider hop onto my hand, run up my arm and down my chest under my dress! By this stage I was screaming hysterically. My mom quickly pulled my dress off over my head and knocked the spider off me. And that was when it all started. I spent the rest of my childhood in living fear of spiders and the phobia has followed me into adulthood.

Baboon spider - photo found HERE

3. Cockroaches

Along with most other small things that crawl, scuttle, flap and fly about, I detest cockroaches...I’m convinced they are mini aliens sent to inherit the earth when humanity destroys itself in a nuclear war. Back in the days when we lived in Cape Town, we used to get gigantic ‘roaches in our flat...I’m sure this was thanks to the downstairs neighbours running an illegal takeaway joint from their home, as they were cooking the whole day long meaning there were always food smells to entice vermin to the vicinity. I’d go into the kitchen and there one would be...parked on the wall and leering at me with his evil eyes. Much as I wanted to crunch him underfoot, I just could not bring myself to do so. Typically, B would be out and therefore not around to play the role of Fearless Roach ‘Radicator , so I’d have to go around to my burly neighbour and lay on my feminine charms (this was of course back in the days when I had one or two) to get him to remove the awful creature. He had no qualms about grabbing it in his bare hand and throwing it out the window to fly away and terrorise someone else.

Roach - photo found HERE

4. Driving

I’ve always been a fairly cautious driver, but I became a lot more nervous after my car accident back in November 2008. It was nothing serious, mind, just a speeding dude collecting me on the side, but it was enough of a dodgem-car style bump, grind and jolt to now give me the heebie-jeebies every time another car drifts towards me in a tight roundabout. I am also very afraid of being in a car with someone else who is driving too fast or too close to other cars...it makes my stomach heave and I feel like throwing up, which is another great fear I have...

5. Puking
I absolutely cannot tolerate the thought or sound of anyone, but especially me, throwing up. I believe it’s quite a common phobia (emetophobia) but it means I live in fear of getting food poisoning or a stomach bug, and I’m nervous around small children who, let’s face it, are pretty much capable of projectile vomiting on demand! Eeeuuuuwww!

How about you...what things do you fear most?