The Posh Doorman Strikes Again...

Despite embarrassing myself, horribly, at last year's office Christmas party at the very grand Blenheim Palace - which you can read all about over here - I was allowed back again this year.

Photo source

Photo source

I Walked The Walk...

I did it!!! Possibly the hardest thing I have ever done.... but I did it!

It was cold. Very, very cold. And windy! Like a gale blowing at times. 

And the start was delayed. And there were serious holdups and bottlenecks - because contrary to what anyone watching the latest series of '24' might be led to believe, the traffic never stops in London. Not even at 3 AM. 

And all those delays in the cold gave me cramps in muscles that I didn't even know I had....

And I had to give myself a lot of serious talking to over those 8 hours, and remind myself just why I was doing this seemingly crazy thing...

Because a few brief hours of discomfort is nothing compared to the pain that people with cancer are going through. 

Because being a part of The Moon Walk, and helping Walk The Walk raise over £3.5 million for breast cancer charities is one of the most awesome things that I've ever had the privilege to do.

Best moment ever... seeing my darling husband waiting in the crowd at the Finish Line, the biggest grin on his face. The same darling husband who bundled me into a warm car and whisked me home...picked me up off the drive when I collapsed, in epic style and in full view of the neighbours, as I got out of the car the other side... 

A hot bath, a tonne of comfort food and a good night's sleep... and I was absolutely fine the next day!

One Step At A Time

Some of you may recall that one balmy night last May.... it was about 3 C with a gale force wind and rain.... I took part in the Half Moon Walk. The Half Moon Walk is a half-marathon, which takes place... you guessed it...  through the night. Participants power walk their way through the streets of London, wearing a decorated bra with the aim of raising funds and awareness for breast cancer charities.

Half marathon? 13 miles/21 kilometres? Insultingly easy!


This year, I'm going the Full Monty... no, not walking through the streets of London in just my altogether (I think that's illegal).. .but rather doing the Full Moon, the full 26 miles/ 42 kilometres. This is a whole new challenge!

My training plan officially kicked off last week, and I have three 3-milers and a 4-miler under my belt. I also did a quick 6-miler over the last weekend, just for good measure. I don't think it's a good plan to over train on the long walks, but a couple of extra short ones will hopefully go a long way to conditioning my legs for that Big Walk on the night of 10th May.  All in, if I follow the training plan to the letter, I will walk a total of 243 miles before the Big One of 26.2.

That's a fair bit of walking. Even for an ardent walker like me, that could get a tad boring. Especially as come rain or shine...and judging on the Great British Weather's past performance, there'll be a load more rain than shine... I've got to push myself to get out there and just keep walking.

So, as I always walk with music, my plan is put together the most amazing, inspiring training playlist for my ipod to keep me moving over the next 12 weeks. Here's what I have so far...yes, an eclectic selection...

Obviously, there's OMD's 'Walking On The Milky Way'; Aerosmith with 'Walk This Way'; Nancy Sinatra's 'These Boots Were Made For Walkin'; Katrina and The Waves 'Walking on Sunshine'; Dire Straits 'Walk of Life'; The Bangles 'Walk Like An Egyptian'; Green Day 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams (I Walk Alone)', The Proclaimers 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)', Martika's upbeat version of Carole King's 'I Feel The Earth Move', and The Police 'Every Breathe You Take (Every Step You Make)'.

Inspiration comes from Journey with 'Don't Stop Believin'; David Bowie's 'Heroes'; Kelly Clarkson's 'What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)' and Script with 'Hall of Fame'.

Then just for their upbeat tempo, there's Eurythmics 'Sweet Dreams'; Iggy Pop's 'Real Wild Child'; Abba's 'Gimme! Gimme! Gimme'; David Quetta's 'Titanium'; Guns N'Roses 'Paradise City'; the Bee Gees 'Stayin' Alive'; Enrique Iglesias with 'I Like It'; the Black Eyed Peas 'I Gotta Feeling'; Coldplay with 'Viva La Vida'; KT Tunstall's 'Black Horse and a Cherry Tree', and Emeli Sande with 'Next To Me', just to name a few.


Any suggestions?

The links should take you to the music videos but You Tube does have funny international restrictions.

How To Be Appear Completely Inebriated At Your Office Party...

.... while in fact being stone cold sober, and having not touched a drop of alcohol for close on two years!

Start by having a wonderful, generous boss... who arranges fabulous Christmas parties every year. This year was no exception - an elegant dinner in The Orangery at Blenheim Palace, residence of the dukes of Marlborough and notable for being the birthplace and ancestral home of Sir Winston Churchill.

A generous boss means there will be shed loads of bottles of wine on every table... enough wine that even Churchill on a bender would have struggled to get through it all by the end of the evening.

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” 
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

A generous boss will also insist that everyone takes a couple of unopened bottles home with them, to share with friends and family over the Christmas festivities. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.... however, as I discovered a couple of minutes later, there is something somewhat undignified about sweeping through the elegant East Gates of Blenheim Palace at the end of the night... accompanied by the loud and distinct clinking of bottles under one's best winter coat.

Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Taking some supplies with us for the trip home, are we Madam?"

Nat [in Very Unposh, Southern African drawl, only made worse by a lingering sinus infection and a day of nonstop talking]: "I don't even drink!"

Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in possibly even Posher Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Never too young to start learning, Madam!"

The first sign of alcoholic addiction? Denial. Damn you Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace!

Notes From Nat....

Dear Man with the Ginormous Head Seated Directly in Front of me at Last Night's Ballet

You can't help the disproportionate size of your dome. Your poor mother.... squeezing that cranium out.... ooooouuuuuch! Doesn't bear even thinking about! Apparently having a big head makes you smarter than the rest of us mere mortals with our puny little skulls... huh! Not smart enough though to work out that constant leaning your gargantuan noodle first one way then the next was obscuring my view of the stage! Do you have a weak neck? It seems likely, given that it's having to support that huge nut on top of you shoulders... however, last night's performance of 'Swan Lake' was not the time or the place to be working on your neck-strengthening exercises! Use your loaf, man! Might I suggest a neck brace? It will serve you well when the next poor sod stuck behind you in a theatre seat somewhere gets the hell in and stops your wobbly head antics with a swift, hard blow to the back of your noggin! I was tempted. Very, very tempted.

Dear Woman Constantly Rustling Crinkly Sweet Wrappers Seated Directly Behind me at Last Night's Ballet

ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Girlfriend.... take it from me, a former sugar junkie.... you want to ration those sweet treats to once a month at most... and then most definitely NOT during any performance that other people have paid good money to enjoy! You nom nom noming constantly and loudly for three hours' solid behind me did nothing to improve my tetchiness with Man with the Ginormous Head Seated Directly in Front of me, and probably even less for your evidently rapidly expanding waistline. MIAOW!

.........

PS From Grumpy Nat..... despite these annoying people seated front and rear of me, last night's performance of 'Swan Lake' by the Sofia National Ballet and Orchestra was absolutely stunning! I remain in awe of the talented dancers and musicians, and somewhat intrigued by the... er... bulkiness... of the contents of the male dancers tights! Just what is going ON down there?!!

Photos of the Sofia National Ballet nicked from the web... I would never use my camera in the theatre, unlike some others seated to my right!  Surrounded by idiots....

I Walked The Walk...

Torrential downpours, Arctic blasts, knee-deep puddles, sneaky manhole covers and other pavement hazards, 20-deep Portaloo queues, and my faithful camera self-destructing in a puff of smoke could not detract from the awesomeness of being part of Saturday night’s London Moon Walk against breast cancer! 

Here are some of the highlights of one of the most momentous nights of my life so far....

Historic Battersea Power Station juxtaposed with The Pink Palace 
Moon City and Start/Finish Line

Ominous black clouds overhead!

So, we're waiting to go into Battersea Park for the pre-Walk build-up at 'Moon City', the queue a good mile long. Everyone is super excited and rearing to go.... there are fabulous costumes and face paintings everywhere. The theme for 2013 is 'Fly Me To The Moon' and there are stars, moons, aliens, rockets, avatars, and enough fairy lights, luminous decor and flashing bras on men and women alike to light up the dark, stormy evening. 

We edge closer and closer to the park gates.... and then suddenly, the heavens open! Torrential, stinging rain hits us like a hail of bullets....everyone is running for the Pink Palace for shelter. I think it's hailing by now, but we are safe in the enormous tent. Others are not so lucky... still trying to get through the queue...

It is time to do some more carbo loading... I have already eaten twice my body weight in pasta and sticky toffee pudding and porridge earlier in the day, but I still take the veggie pasta and carrot cake the lovely volunteers are handing out at The Kitchen.  By now the Pink Tent is full of 17,000 damp bodies but we find a bit of ground space in our allocated "holding area", and tuck in....

Stuffing my face again

Photo from Walk The Walk's Facebook page.... I am standing way back under the '2'

Jennifer Saunders (comedienne, breast cancer survivor and a huge supported of Walk The Walk) gets up on stage to give a brief motivational speech.

Jennifer Saunders flashes her 'Absolutely Fabulous' bra - yes, my camera is rubbish at long distance zooming and appears to be imploding to boot! Mini explosions every time my flash goes off....

Then it's the turn of Nina Barough (founder of Walk The Walk and herself a breast cancer survivor)....

 Nina and her Star Wars posse

Time to get the bras out!

Yip that's mine!

There is a minute's silence, to reflect on what this event is all about... raising awareness and funds for breast cancer charities. A time to remember those lost to this horrendous disease.

Hugely emotional moment.

And if that was not enough to get the tears flowing, on come the Rock Choir to give a beautiful rendition of 'Something Inside So Strong'.

The Rock Choir on stage

It's almost time to get going. There is a bit of confusion as to which group is actually heading off and where we are supposed to be, but we gradually make our way out of the tent and towards the Start.

It is positively Arctic! The wind is whipping through our see-through plastic ponchos. Teeth chattering, knees knocking, hearts racing by now....

Photo from Walk The Walk

Eager to get going - just to get warm!

Nina sees each group of walkers off

And we have lift-off! FINALLY!

London is so pretty by night!

Fabulous volunteers work though the long, freezing cold night.. marshalling, supporting, cheering us on! 

And the population of London are fantastic! Hooting horns, cheering out of car windows, shouting encouragement. Blokes hanging around outside pubs and the trendy set in night club queues clap and yell, 'high-fiving' us as we walk past! Friendly firemen offer to pose with us for a photo op...

Not sure exactly what that young fireman's hand is doing!

We walk past beautiful shop windows and lavish apartments in Chelsea, then the Harrod's Store in Knightsbridge with their 'Great Gatsby' theme.  

We see some drunks stumbling about. A road is closed off and the police are dealing with a pub brawl. There's a guy with a broken nose, blood pouring down his face. We try not to look, keep watching where we walk. Already some walkers have tripped and fallen - it is really dark and the pavements are full of hazards.  Some walkers have collapsed or pulled out - they sit waiting for the night bus, defeated. I trip over a manhole cover and almost plant my face in the pavement.... luckily I somehow manage to recover myself and save my dignity. One of my walking pals turns back to see if I am OK and promptly smacks into a lamp post!

We are near the 10-mile point and all desperate for the loo! The queues are from hell but there is no way we can last another 4 miles (or 3.8 miles* to be precise).

Frozen to the bone, we set off again - picking up the pace to keep warm and stay awake. It's now gone 3 am and tiredness is really starting to set in.

Twelve miles comes up soon and we split from the Full Moon Walkers... they still have over 14 miles to go and will be walking all through the night! I take my hat off to them - they are amazing!

The last stretch, and Battersea Station is in view, lit up with a glorious pink glow....

Crossing the Finish Line

We did it! 

Thank you so much to everyone who sponsored me, and supported me on the way, especially my two walking pals… I would never have made it to the Finish line without your highly accurate time-keeping (‘it’s 45 minutes past the zero hour’) and handy lamp post detection skills.

.............

* The Half Moon ended up being 13.8 miles (22.9 km) rather than 13.1 due to some last-minute diversions

Photos are my own rubbish attempts to walk in the dark and take photos except where otherwise acknowledged as property of Walk The Walk