Happy holidays everyone!
See you all in 2014....
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Sunday, 15 December 2013
How To Be Appear Completely Inebriated At Your Office Party...
.... while in fact being stone cold sober, and having not touched a drop of alcohol for close on two years!
Start by having a wonderful, generous boss... who arranges fabulous Christmas parties every year. This year was no exception - an elegant dinner in The Orangery at Blenheim Palace, residence of the dukes of Marlborough and notable for being the birthplace and ancestral home of Sir Winston Churchill.
A generous boss means there will be shed loads of bottles of wine on every table... enough wine that even Churchill on a bender would have struggled to get through it all by the end of the evening.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
A generous boss will also insist that everyone takes a couple of unopened bottles home with them, to share with friends and family over the Christmas festivities. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.... however, as I discovered a couple of minutes later, there is something somewhat undignified about sweeping through the elegant East Gates of Blenheim Palace at the end of the night... accompanied by the loud and distinct clinking of bottles under one's best winter coat.
Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Taking some supplies with us for the trip home, are we Madam?"
Nat [in Very Unposh, Southern African drawl, only made worse by a lingering sinus infection and a day of nonstop talking]: "I don't even drink!"
Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in possibly even Posher Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Never too young to start learning, Madam!"
The first sign of alcoholic addiction? Denial. Damn you Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace!
Start by having a wonderful, generous boss... who arranges fabulous Christmas parties every year. This year was no exception - an elegant dinner in The Orangery at Blenheim Palace, residence of the dukes of Marlborough and notable for being the birthplace and ancestral home of Sir Winston Churchill.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
A generous boss will also insist that everyone takes a couple of unopened bottles home with them, to share with friends and family over the Christmas festivities. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.... however, as I discovered a couple of minutes later, there is something somewhat undignified about sweeping through the elegant East Gates of Blenheim Palace at the end of the night... accompanied by the loud and distinct clinking of bottles under one's best winter coat.
Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Taking some supplies with us for the trip home, are we Madam?"
Nat [in Very Unposh, Southern African drawl, only made worse by a lingering sinus infection and a day of nonstop talking]: "I don't even drink!"
Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace [in possibly even Posher Very Posh Oxford Accent]: "Never too young to start learning, Madam!"
The first sign of alcoholic addiction? Denial. Damn you Very Posh Doorman at Blenheim Palace!
Thursday, 5 December 2013
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