Friday Fear Factor

We all have things that we’re afraid of, but I think I’m above average when it comes to racking up the phobias. Here are just five of the many things that freak me out...

1. Flying
I am utterly terrified of flying. It kind of spoils the travelling lark, but I try to use legal pharmaceuticals to not completely freak out and scream hysterically every time the plane hits the slightest little bit of turbulence. I think my fear stems from a bad experience when I was quite young. I was on a flight to Australia and was walking back from the toilet when the plane hit the edge of a cyclone over the Mozambique Channel, and dropped like a stone. I fell in the aisle, and whacked my face on the floor. The overhead lockers popped open, hand luggage fell out and hit some passengers, and the oxygen masks flopped down...even the air crew were shitting themselves! Since then, I’ve had the delight of an aborted landing in heavy fog over Heathrow and a flight from hell back from the States, when the turbulence was so bad that the crew spent 7 of the 9 hours strapped in their seats.

Any news of plane crashes always grab my attention. With morbid fascination, I’ll trawl through the crash details, which will then get filed in my brain under “Resort to Nervous Wreck When On An Aeroplane Aids”, ready to pop up the next time I’m strapped into a plane seat, waiting for the roar of engines to signal the start of that race down the runway to take-off. That’s the point when I always feel trapped. I can’t stand up and shout “Let me off!”... well, I possibly could, but I would definitely piss off the other passengers, almost certainly be labelled a lunatic and probably be banned from flying... which would kind of get in the way of my travel plans. Suck another Rescue Remedy pastille, and dig fingernail stubs into B’s arm (if travelling alone, random stranger’s arm).

2. Spiders
If there’s one creature on this planet that reduces me to a shrieking, shivering wreck, it’s the creepy crawly eight-legged variety! I can actually pinpoint the source of my phobia to an incident quite early in my childhood – I can’t have been much older than about 3 at the time. Growing up in Africa, there were spiders aplenty, some pretty nasty ones too....like the baboon spider. This tale involves a harmless brown house spider. I was naturally curious about these strange creatures that ran silently along the walls and ceilings. I recall going up to touch one....then feeling the spider hop onto my hand, run up my arm and down my chest under my dress! By this stage I was screaming hysterically. My mom quickly pulled my dress off over my head and knocked the spider off me. And that was when it all started. I spent the rest of my childhood in living fear of spiders and the phobia has followed me into adulthood.

Baboon spider - photo found HERE

3. Cockroaches

Along with most other small things that crawl, scuttle, flap and fly about, I detest cockroaches...I’m convinced they are mini aliens sent to inherit the earth when humanity destroys itself in a nuclear war. Back in the days when we lived in Cape Town, we used to get gigantic ‘roaches in our flat...I’m sure this was thanks to the downstairs neighbours running an illegal takeaway joint from their home, as they were cooking the whole day long meaning there were always food smells to entice vermin to the vicinity. I’d go into the kitchen and there one would be...parked on the wall and leering at me with his evil eyes. Much as I wanted to crunch him underfoot, I just could not bring myself to do so. Typically, B would be out and therefore not around to play the role of Fearless Roach ‘Radicator , so I’d have to go around to my burly neighbour and lay on my feminine charms (this was of course back in the days when I had one or two) to get him to remove the awful creature. He had no qualms about grabbing it in his bare hand and throwing it out the window to fly away and terrorise someone else.

Roach - photo found HERE

4. Driving

I’ve always been a fairly cautious driver, but I became a lot more nervous after my car accident back in November 2008. It was nothing serious, mind, just a speeding dude collecting me on the side, but it was enough of a dodgem-car style bump, grind and jolt to now give me the heebie-jeebies every time another car drifts towards me in a tight roundabout. I am also very afraid of being in a car with someone else who is driving too fast or too close to other cars...it makes my stomach heave and I feel like throwing up, which is another great fear I have...

5. Puking
I absolutely cannot tolerate the thought or sound of anyone, but especially me, throwing up. I believe it’s quite a common phobia (emetophobia) but it means I live in fear of getting food poisoning or a stomach bug, and I’m nervous around small children who, let’s face it, are pretty much capable of projectile vomiting on demand! Eeeuuuuwww!

How about you...what things do you fear most?