The Original Prankster

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My mom has a wicked sense of humour and is a great fan of practical jokes. Probably the naughtiest (and most disgusting) prank she ever played was as a teenager. The victim...her aunt, a childlike woman (“a bit simple” as my grandmother used to say)...lived out of town, with her husband who worked on the asbestos mines. My mom and her younger sister would visit their aunt during school holidays, and would hardly get their feet over the doorstep before she would eagerly ask “Have you brought me a present?”

Usually there would indeed be a gift....a cake or perhaps some jam made by my grandmother....but on this occasion my mom decided she would take along a special little present of her own. She scooped up a large turd, freshly left on the back lawn by their Great Dane, sprinkled it with coloured hundreds and thousands and placed it daintily in a small cardboard box....like the ones favoured by fancy cake shops and patisseries.

"Ohhh, how lovely!" exclaimed her aunt when presented with the little box of delights....

"But wait, what's that awful smell?"

Yummy, mummy!