Dear Neighbours' Cats
OK, I've now had enough of your crap...literally! It's bad enough I spend my days picking your shit out from my flowerbeds and lawn, but waking me up at 5am with your caterwauling outside my bedroom window is enough to give me a hairball!
What were you fighting over...who gets to crap on my doorstep?
Be afraid, my feline fiends...I'm investing in a pump action water gun!
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Dear Rain Cloud
Yes, yes, I know you’ve been a good sport and kept away for almost a month....and yes, it’s been the driest, sunniest, hottest April in history and everything is blooming with springtime delight. But could you do me just one small favour and sod off from your current position of lurking with gloomy intent over Wales? I know that fair country is renowned for its abundance of leeks, sheep and rain, but I’d be very grateful if you could let us have just a bit of sunshine for our long weekend in the Brecon Beacons. Otherwise, instead of the famous Black Mountain, all we’ll get to see is Black Cloud....and soggy sheep.
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Dear Toe Rag Who Hacked My Facebook Account
What a sad little life you must lead, spending all your time trawling the net on the off-chance that you can sneak into other people’s private email accounts and post malicious comments that you are not brave enough to write in your own name! Did it give you a thrill? I hope so, because I reckon you don’t have much happiness in that lonely, perverse life of yours. May I suggest you apply for a personality transplant immediately, and do something vaguely useful with your life?
Yours truly
Nat
Did you check out this week's Postsecret? "When I find out ppl don't like cats, I tend to like the ppl a little less." Yeah, that one reminded me of you =)
ReplyDeleteSid, I hadn't heard about Postsecret before....just found it, thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteI actually quite like cats (as you may have noticed from the cat pics I have on here)
I just get annoyed with their crappy owners who don't provide a litter tray or stop them wandering around all hours of the night :-) But then as the saying goes, "You never own a cat, they deign to live with you".
Our neighbor's cat is outside carrying on all the time & it drives me batty. Our Dexter stays inside, so I don't get it when people can't hear their own animals & do something about it.
ReplyDeleteI hope the weather holds off for your weekend!
Thanks, Michelle :-)
ReplyDeleteHallarious!! Love it! I heard some pretty strong "howling" coming from my "country neighbors" cat the other day - serious fight. I thought that maybe it was beating up one of the cows! LOL! Or maybe it was trying to milk one of them.
ReplyDeleteMy Oh My ... You must be having one of my
ReplyDeleteweeks...... But it is funnier when you
mention it.