Notes From Nat

Dear Traveller Insurance Broker

I have just one thing to say to you:

Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!

I warned you in my letter last year that I would not give up the fight until you handed over the cash you owe me after my trip to Amsterdam got cancelled...thanks to that blasted Icelandic volcano and its clingy little ash cloud. It’s taken almost a year of stroppy letters (and an intervention from the Financial Ombudsman), but now you’re finally going to have to cough up. Sure you’ll choke on every pound...

Volcanic ash cloud pic from here

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Dear Census 2011 Questionnaire Writers

You guys probably know what you're doing by now..... after all, Britain has carried out a Census every decade since 1801 (except for 1941 during WWII).... but isn't the last response on Question 19 a bit redundant? Presumably, if you can read the answer box which says "Not at all", you should not tick it?

 I’m just saying....

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Dear Overly Friendly, Strange Cat

You know I love cats... well, apart from those little f*ckers that keep crapping in my flower beds! And yes, you are ever so cute and friendly, coming over to keep me company whilst I'm trying to restore some semblance of order to that Weed Fest masquerading as my garden. The problem is, it's just a tad difficult to make any progress with the weed clearing with you squirming your way around my legs, rubbing up against my back, lolling and rolling on top of the weeds and trying to catch my hand every time I get a grip on one of the little suckers. And all this whilst purring loudly and appreciatively the whole time. Might I suggest you invest in one of those rope covered scratching posts for your personal entertainment, so that I can get some flippin' work done!

Yours truly
Nat