And The Plonker Of The Week Award Goes To....

..... Cowardly 'Costa Concordia' Captain Francesco Schettino, who claims he only abandoned his sinking ship, because he "fell into the lifeboat when ship listed suddenly" as he was trying to help....

Photo of Costa Concordia aground from here

A completely unecessary, tragic loss of lives.

......

Runner-up Plonker of The Week.... that bloke that lives up the road from me and owns the Audi. Although owning such a car (or more accurately being in possession of the appalling driving skills displayed by an overwhelmingly and disproportionately large number of Audi drivers - please note, I am not saying ALL Audi owners are bad drivers, just a lot that I have come across!) might not be enough to qualify as a Plonker (in some instances - again I am not accusing ALL Audi drivers of being or not being Plonkers)..... this bloke qualifies on the merits of his Audi car alarm, that has been going off in the small hours of the morning, for the last few nights.

Dear Bloke With The Rowdy Car Alarm.... when I go around to complain enquire if your wonderful car is still in good shape, as I have been woken up by its alarm for three nights on the trot, telling me that I "must be a light sleeper" does absolutely nothing to improve my mood. We'll see how heavy a sleeper you are when I'm ringing your doorbell at 4 am (in my pyjamas, a sight to behold) if it goes off again tonight!

You have been warned....

......

Plonker - noun 1. Slang for (ahem!) the male organ. 2. Fool, idiot, despicable person.