Flattery Will Get You Nowhere...

On Monday nights, you’ll most likely find me torturing myself at my boxercise class…basically, I pay four quid to be shouted at by Muscle Man (aka Boot Camp Drill Sergeant) for an hour, while I run around a chilly village hall and do squats, lunges and press-ups, drop dumbbells on my toes, question my sanity and dream of eating chocolates. And all this in the name of achieving a super svelte body (or at least trying to counteract my massive energy input with a teeny bit of output). Last night was no exception... except it was not Muscle Man taking the class (he’s busy sunning his muscles on the Portuguese Algarve) but rather his female counterpart.

Not the actual Muscle Man but some eye candy for the ladies on a slow Tuesday morning

The village hall backs onto a large, grassy park and recreational area, with basketball courts, a skateboarding ramp and children’s playground. Naturally, the place is popular with the local kids, making the most of the long summer evenings... although the area does have floodlights so they can use it in winter too. We do get the odd spectator, but generally the playground holds far more attractions than watching a bunch of “old people” running around in circles.

Yesterday evening, however, a couple of teenagers were extremely interested in the activities going on in the hall... especially when they noticed a pile of boxing gloves waiting for the punching session of the class...


Teenage Boy #1: “Look... they’ve got boxing gloves! We want to do that!” [Starts grabbing the gloves]

Muscle Woman: “You can join in, but you will have to pay for the class.”

Teenage Boy #2 “Why?”

Muscle Woman: “This is a private boxercise class, and we pay to hire the hall. Therefore if you join in, you pay the fee.”

Teenage Boy #2: “But what do you use the boxing gloves for?”

Muscle Woman: “We use them as part of the exercise routine.”

Teenage Boy #2: “But you lot ain’t fat! Why do you need to exercise?”

Muscle Woman: “That’s very nice of you, but we still need to exercise to stay fit. Are you going to pay now?”

The boys run off to the park.....