New Age Dear Johns

I was emailed these earlier by a friend and thought I'd share them on this otherwise dull and boring day....

Dear Noah

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns



Dear Icebergs

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic



Dear Yahoo

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely, Google

Dear Taylor Swift

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Saturn

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God

Dear Windshield Wipers

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Rubik's Cube

Done!

Sincerely, Colourblind

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans

We. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls

Dear Twilight fans

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic

 

Dear Prince Charming

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty