Just Nat

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

A Touch Of Frost

The snow has melted, but a hoar frost has gripped the countryside - transforming the landscape with Nature's sugar coating....

Sunday, 5 December 2010

You may have heard that we've had more than our fair share of snow in the UK this past week...enough to cause general chaos, airport closures, train stoppages, petrol shortages and panic food buying as the deliveries halted.

We didn't really get all that much around where I live..not like the metre-deep falls they've had to the north and south. Nevertheless, here are a few photos taken around my village, as requested by Wandering Saffa Chick....who is herself enjoying an Australian summer as we shiver, shake and slip about on the ice over here.

Hope you've all had a good weekend!

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Ask Nat

I’ve just come across the slightly bizarre results of a survey of the most popular online queries by British website users in 2010. Here are some of the top searches, along with my own possibly less popular answers….forget Google, Yahoo and Ask Jeeves, just Ask Nat for that accurate, concise, informative and completely nonbiased response.

1. Why are England so bad at football?
Because our players are excessively overpaid, underworked, undisciplined, pretty ordinary blokes that have been bigged up to be some sort of demigods…..of course, this answer has absolutely nothing to do with my complete hatred of football and all things football-related.

2. Is the X-Factor fixed?
Is the Pope Catholic? Doesn’t stop me watching the show religiously every weekend though…

Viva The Lion King*!

(Wagner Carillo - sadly, finally given the boot on Sunday after weeks of vast support from anti-X Factor campaigners who (allegedly) aimed to teach Simon Cowell a lesson by spending lots of money on his show's premium-rate phone votes)

3. Who is Justin Bieber?
To be honest, I only know this because I caught him miming (badly) during his guest appearance on Sunday night’s X-Factor results show…apparently, he (and there was a moment when I thought someone that pretty must be a Justina!) is the hottest, overhyped thing since... well, the last hottest, overhyped thing to strut his stuff before his adoring teenage fans. Yes, I’m just a grumpy old woman…old enough to be his mother (actually, make that his grandmother!)

4. Do all footballers cheat [on their wives/girlfriends]?
Quite possibly…see answer to number 1 above.

5. Should I buy an iPad?
Are you the person who has it all now and can find nothing else to buy? Do you fancy lugging about an oversized iphone? Do you like expensive coffee table ornaments?

If you’ve answered 'yes!' to any of these questions, then yes.

6. What is ‘Glee’?
A bit like a polished, slicker version of the ‘80s TV show ‘Fame’, with better hairdos and clothes….worth watching, just for the witty “Sue Sylvester”.

Snappy and snarky in a track suit

7. Will ‘Big Brother’ ever come back?
Oh hell, I really hope not! We are already overpopulated with pointless non-celebrities...

8. Where can I buy a micro pig?
Old Macdonald’s Micro Farm?

Just don't mention Swine Flu!

9. Where is the ash cloud?
It was in the sky…thankfully not any more though.

10. Where can I buy a vuvuzela?
You're not allowed one.... unless you're 10 or younger! Again, this answer has absolutely nothing to do with my complete hatred of football and all things football-related.

* Wagner owns a pet lion. As you do.

Monday, 29 November 2010

But Seriously...

I’m saddened to learn that one of my favourite comedy actors of all time, Leslie Nielsen, passed away yesterday at the age of 84. He was truly the master of the deadpan...able to say absurd lines while keeping his face as straight as the Sphinx’s.

Here are just a few examples, taken from his most popular films, Airplane! (in which he played passenger Dr Rumack) and the Naked Gun series (in which he played the bumbling detective Lt Frank Drebin).

Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.
The Naked Gun: From the files of Police Squad, 1988

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker [a qualified pilot who hasn’t flown in years]: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
Airplane!, 1980

Rumack: I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time.
Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!
Airplane!, 1980

Frank: Now, Jane, what can you tell us about the man you saw last night?
Jane: He's Caucasian.
Ed: Caucasian?
Jane: Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three.
Frank: Awfully big moustache.
The Naked Gun: From the files of Police Squad, 1988

[Jane Spencer climbs a ladder]
Frank [standing underneath]: Nice beaver!
Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
The Naked Gun: From the files of Police Squad, 1988

Frank: That's the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Ed: Sex, Frank?
Frank: Uh, no, not right now, Ed.
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear, 1991

R.I.P. Shirley....I mean Leslie.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Blah, blah, blah

After bombarding you with nothing but photos for the past couple of weeks, I thought I’d put idle finger to keyboard for a change and give you some witty and spry prose instead...OK, perhaps some rambling, incoherent words randomly knocked together… don’t expect much, and you won’t be disappointed.

So what’s new in the ever exciting life of Nat? Not a whole lot to be honest... I’ve been holed up with ~~bubonic plague, boils and pestilence~~ a lousy head cold that has made me feel completely uninspired, very irritated and pretty much disinclined to do anything, let alone write witty and spry prose.

The dreaded lurgy has also put paid to my usual weekly exercise routine of two sessions of Aikido and one of ‘boxercise’ (with the demon Muscle Man, who was clearly a drill sergeant in a previous life). Yes, a fairly recent venture for me…basically, I pay four quid to be shouted at by Muscle Man for an hour, while I run around a chilly village hall and do squats, lunges and press-ups, drop dumbbells on my toes, question my sanity and dream of eating chocolates. And all this in the name of achieving a super svelte body (or at least trying to counteract my massive energy input with a teeny bit of output).

You see, winter has arrived with a vengeance - apparently, by the weekend we’ll be braving arctic blasts, feet of snow, icebergs and polar bear migrations to warmer climes. That’s if the weatherman is to be believed, of course. And on the topic of weathermen, our favourite forecaster, Tomasz Schafernaker (famous for Flicking-The-Bird-On-Live-TV that I wrote about here), recently fell out of favour with viewers again, this time for his rather casual attire in front of the camera. Apparently the BBC doesn't do Dress Down Days.

Rain, wind and a generally scruffy outlook

All I know is, it’s frikking freezing cold already and all I want to do is lie on the couch and stuff my face with warm, comforting, calorific food.

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Which reminds me...

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US readers! I know that this is an important time of the year for you folks....it’s when you get together with your families and give thanks for the good things in life. Aaahhhh….warm and fuzzy feelings all round.

Slightly less warm and fuzzy feelings over on this side of the pond though…or at least in my office. You see, Thanksgiving (or more accurately the week leading up to it) invariably leads to superinflated stress levels. I’ve mentioned that I have a slightly high maintenance client in New Jersey. The week before Thanksgiving she goes into hyper drive….a vortex of energy, determined that (come hell or high water) everything WILL be completed in time for her to head off to her turkey dinner.

Speaking of holidays, I am thrilled and delighted that Wills and Kate will be tying the knot on the 29^th April 2011. Thrilled and delighted mainly because it means that we get an extra public holiday…. one that will coincide with my South African trip next year, already cunningly arranged to fit in with the Easter and May bank holidays, meaning we get three weeks’ holiday for the price of two weeks’ leave. Meaning I will have enough days left from my 25 days annual quota to perhaps fit in another couple of trips next year :-)