Funny Business

I am not a business person. In fact, an ex-boss once told me that I completely lacked any sense of business acumen (note, I said ex-boss). I did not take this as an insult....after all, I spent nine years of my life studying medical science, with the express purpose of avoiding spending my working life conversing with a bunch of suits in their uniquely irritating BS (Business Speak), 24/7. With all due respect to those who are actually in the business world, and who like to be pro-active...those who thrive on brainstorming, on getting their ducks in a row and then touching base to get a heads up on whether they’re singing from the same hymn sheet, before going forward and pushing the envelope out...at the end of the day, business is not rocket science (even if it does involve some blue sky thinking).

Nonetheless, I do still like to think outside the box....and even I can spot a really bad business decision when it’s going on under my nose (or rather feet). I’ve mentioned that I’ve started taking gym classes.... as, along with half the population, my rather unoriginal New Year resolution is to lose weight by the ‘Move-more-but-eat-the-same’ principle (I’m realistic enough to know that I’ll never eat less). The popularity of this theme, however, has resulted in some rather stiff competition for the limited number of places available on the aerobics studio floor. Luckily, I’d done my market research, discovered that demand was high and supply low, and have been cleverly phoning ahead to book one of those highly coveted 20 places.

At this point you may be forgiven for mistakenly thinking (as I did) that the reason for the upper limit of 20 per class is simple: the studio can only handle that number of generously proportioned ladies flinging their limbs about, in a desperate attempt to follow the nifty moves of the sprightly instructor, while not kicking their sweaty comrades in the head. Last night, 27 wannadoaerobicans pitched up...only 20 places, so 7 unlucky ones get turned away....7 regular aerobicandos, who were caught napping, didn’t judge the bullish market correctly and therefore did not expect their ranks to suddenly swell from around 7 to 27 (it’s January ladies!)

What you wouldn’t know (as I didn’t until much later in the game) is that there is in fact a larger studio available at the gym...one that is reserved for classes of 21+. So, given that said larger studio was not booked for any other activity last night and had in fact not been used for quite some time (tumbleweed was skimming across it’s once highly polished floor), anyone with even the most minute, invisible-to-the-naked eye quantity of common sense would see there is an easy solution to this dilemma, and that is....

*Drum roll*

Switch the class to the bigger (vacant) studio!

So, is that what the gym manager in fact decided to do? Hell no! Despite the valiant attempts of the instructor to convince him otherwise, the Dumb Ass was not budging...

Instructor: “But the larger studio is standing empty and you’re turning away 7 ladies.....at £4 a head, that’s 28 quid!”
Dumb Ass: “No. We need to keep the larger one available for a long-term let.”
Instructor: “I can see your point...but it’s not actually booked for tonight! Let us use it in the meantime...then when you do rent it out, we’ll make alternative arrangements.” (She knows the market....by February the numbers of wannadoaerobicans will have dropped back to around the 10 mark)
Dumb Ass: “No. Rules is rules.”