Notes From Nat

Dear Colonel Gaddafi
The job market’s a bit flooded with disposed despots at the moment…might I suggest a career change? There’s an opening for ‘A Walking Advertisement for the Perils of Too Much Plastic Surgery’, but you’ll have to act fast… apparently Mickey Rourke and Tom Jones are already vying for the role.

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Dear Water Pipes in my House
Haha! Yes, very funny...but the “Waking Me Up At 2 am Squealing Like A Banshee” joke is wearing a bit thin. If I wanted night after night of disrupted sleep, I’d get myself a baby....maybe one of Brangelina or Madonna’s rejects. Anyway, if you try a stunt like that one more night, I’m left with no option but to get a big, strong plumber in to attend to my waterworks....

Well, we needed something to erase that image of the old Colonel

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Dear Travel Insurance Brokers
Yeah, you and me go way back...we have a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak. We’ve already established that you are nothing but common thieves and vagabonds, happy to steal my hard earned money in exchange for stress and aggravation. But how do you justify charging me four times my annual policy fees to add my perfectly fit and healthy mom on our trip to South Africa, just because she’s over 65? I hope you sleep comfortably at night...

Yours
Nat