Showing posts with label Phwoar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Phwoar. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

I Hate Tuesdays!




Forget Blue Mondays, I hate Tuesdays!

For some reason it's the kind of day that really drags on and seems to have no purpose, a kind of “nothing day”. We've got Mondays that mark the beginning of the week, when you’re feeling revitalised after the weekend... then Wednesdays that are slap bang in the middle of the week (the “Hump Day”), Thursdays mean that we are one day closer to the weekend, and then finally you've got Friday, the last working day of the week, before it's the weekend. Yippee!

Tuesdays are unlucky... fact! And I quote from the Fount of All Knowledge, Wikipedia…

In the Greek world, Tuesday (the day of the week of the Fall of Constantinople) is considered an unlucky day. The same is true in the Spanish-speaking world, where a proverb runs: “En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques”, meaning, “On Tuesday, neither get married nor begin a journey.” For both Greeks and Spanish-speakers, the 13th of the month is considered unlucky if it falls on Tuesday, instead of “Friday the 13th”.

And if it’s in Wikipedia…it MUST be true!


In my experience, if things are going to go wrong, they will go wrong on a Tuesday. Without fail.

Today was no exception. It’s taken many weeks and several visits from the plumber... and sadly not this hot one...


I know you all wanted to see him again!

...to resolve Watergate in my house (the pipes squealing like a banshee in the middle of the night for no apparent reason!). This morning, the power shower decided it was his turn to misbehave, and he refused to switch off  [yes, my shower is definitely male - instantly turned on, hot and powerful for a while, but quick to run out of steam].

Very soon I was well on my way to owning the indoor pool I’d always dreamed off! Cutting the pump and water supply was the only solution, until the not-so-hot plumber could come by and confirm my suspicions that it was a valve problem.

Simple enough, you’d think - just get a replacement valve...not when you can’t locate the paperwork left by the Dodgy Cowboy Plumber that fitted the bathroom in the first place, to track down a model number. The head office of Dodgy-Cowboy-Plumbers-R-Us were no help either... I’d phoned them desperately hoping they may still have the details of the shower they supplied us on file, but to no avail.

And we’ve got bigger problems too... all that turning on and off the water at the mains has knackered (official plumbing speak) the stop cock [Snigger! Now you see why I refer to plumbing in the masculine]. This is a big job that may involve cutting into walls and destroying plastering.

I await the verdict with dread.....



In the meantime, today was the day my superduper, new, double-split-level-eyeball-level-stainless-steel-with bells-on-it oven was scheduled for delivery... as it's a Tuesday, I was preparing myself for disaster. Especially when I opened the door to spy one skinny little dude whose command of the English language apparently extended to "Yep!" and the completely different "Yep!". I was wondering how he was going to wrestle the bulky package all by himself (as I sure as hell wasn't going to risk dropping it on my foot or putting my back out) through the house to its temporary storage spot, the conservatory. Thankfully, help was shortly at hand in the form of his beefier partner who also had a few more words to his repertoire.... like "Sign here!" [to me] and "Lift it you idiot... at the bottom!" [to the Yep Man].

Behold the new oven....isn't she lovely?



Hope you’re having a good Tuesday!

Friday, 25 February 2011

Notes From Nat

Dear Colonel Gaddafi
The job market’s a bit flooded with disposed despots at the moment…might I suggest a career change? There’s an opening for ‘A Walking Advertisement for the Perils of Too Much Plastic Surgery’, but you’ll have to act fast… apparently Mickey Rourke and Tom Jones are already vying for the role.



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Dear Water Pipes in my House
Haha! Yes, very funny...but the “Waking Me Up At 2 am Squealing Like A Banshee” joke is wearing a bit thin. If I wanted night after night of disrupted sleep, I’d get myself a baby....maybe one of Brangelina or Madonna’s rejects. Anyway, if you try a stunt like that one more night, I’m left with no option but to get a big, strong plumber in to attend to my waterworks....


Well, we needed something to erase that image of the old Colonel

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Dear Travel Insurance Brokers
Yeah, you and me go way back...we have a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak. We’ve already established that you are nothing but common thieves and vagabonds, happy to steal my hard earned money in exchange for stress and aggravation. But how do you justify charging me four times my annual policy fees to add my perfectly fit and healthy mom on our trip to South Africa, just because she’s over 65? I hope you sleep comfortably at night...

Yours
Nat

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Just A Bunch Of Cowboys



Cowboy Eye-Candy found here


Phwoar! 

Unfortunately, the cowboys I came across in Canada weren't anything like this.

They were quite wooden, really.....


Stampede Park - Williams Lake, BC


And these guys were pretty two-dimensional....


Cartoon cowboys on a walkway in Calgary



Hee-Haw!



Soliciters posing as cowboys - now usually that would be....





Happy Hump Day, y'all!