On Jedi Knights, Elvis Presley and Bear Skin Hats

Yesterday, we had a half-day Aikido training course in weapons... although Aikido is known as a nonviolent, noncompetitive martial art, much of its technical structure derives from the art of swordsmanship. Wooden weapons are often used as training tools to better illustrate Aikido principles and movements and to train in self-defense against weapons. The three main weapons are the boken or ken (wooden sword), jo (wooden short staff), and tanto (wooden knife).

Our Sensei arranged for a Very Important Aikido Dude (6th Dan and almost as important as O Great One that I wrote about here) to come and teach the class. Once again we were primed to be on our bestest behaviour and not show up our dear Sensei....tempted as I was to take the piss, I reckoned he may have suffered a sense of humour failure if I’d pitched up with my own Weapon of Mass Destruction, perhaps a very big umbrella (hey, I’ve had one confiscated by Edinburgh airport security) or novelty Star Wars glow-in-the dark light saber.

On the topic of Star Wars and light sabers, VIAD (a sprightly 70-year old who’s a walking advert for the benefits of keeping yourself fit and supple all your life) was quick to point out that we are NOT to grip the boken or wave it about above our heads a là Luke Skywalker and friends. The sword handle needs to be held as if it is an injured bird, just enough strength to stop it getting away, but not to cause any harm. “The boken will do its own work”, VIAD said. He had a lot to say in fact...typically, he’d pause in the middle of demonstrating a technique (usually when we were all in posture, arms stretched out clasping our boken with no one daring to release their grasp) and begin a long oratory of his views on life, the universe and everything else between.

An interesting chap, but after 3 hours of this, my aching arms made me want to yell out “Dude, in the words of the great Elvis Presley: ‘A little less conversation, a little more action, please!’” Possibly that would have drawn a bit too much attention my way...as it was, he singled me out early on, apparently delighted to see a “young lady in our midst ”....hey, to him, I’m young...as there are some very senior women in Aikido but not enough joining the ranks.

When we did actually get to do some Sword Action, it was great fun and quite therapeutic with only the odd bashed head or two. I suggested to B we have a practice session in the garden this evening (the ceilings are too low in the house). That should give the neighbours something to gawk at....maybe they’ll think twice about letting their cats use our garden as a public convenience if they think we’re armed and dangerous!

I’m going to end this ramble with a picture I came across in a daily tabloid. Captioned “Fainting of The Guard”, it shows an unfortunate Scots Guardsman who fainted at a final rehearsal for next weekend’s Trooping The Colour. Saturday was a hot, hot day...ideal for going to the beach, but not for standing perfectly still while wearing a 2lb bearskin. Protocol forbids his compatriots from batting an eyelid, let alone checking if he is OK...

Eyes front....