Dear Santa

Yeah, it’s me...that little girl who cried her eyes out on Christmas morning 1979 when the “Baby Doll In A Rocking Cradle” turned out to be just a crappy cradle. Somebody (no names mentioned) didn’t bother to check the box for its full contents. Do you have any idea what type of elaborate yarn my parents had to spin by me to explain the absence of Baby? Apparently Baby was not well and had to stay in the Babies’ Hospital until after Christmas....conveniently around about the time the shops reopened. When Baby did finally come home, she’d grown blonde hair. I’d specifically requested a brunette Baby, coz, even at the age of 5, I was sick of all the blondes having all the fun.

That was when I first started wondering about you, Santa....you were supposed to be perfect and yet how could you make such a fundamental error? Attention to detail and all that, you know! Most unprofessional! And another thing that bugged me about you as a child was if there’s only one of you and you lived in the North Pole...who were all those Santa-lookalikes, one in every department store? Remember, this was long before they cloned Dolly. More awkward questions for my parents...apparently those other Santas were just your helpers, after all the North Pole is a long way from tropical Africa. They couldn’t quite explain why you brought the rich kids so many more cool toys though...

Anyway, not to dwell on the past, bygones are bye byegones and all that....I’m writing to you this year, Santa, with just one request. It’s quite a Biggie, but it’s not just for me. Here goes...

Could you please get rid of cancer....like eradicate it! It’s really messed up the past year and nearly took my dad away from me twice. Luckily he’s a great fighter and he’s with us for Christmas, coz it was a bit touch and go earlier this year. But now cancer’s picking fights with a lot of my friends’ families too. I know you don’t tolerate bullies and I’d say there’s no bigger bully than the Big C.

And if you possibly have a bit of space in that great sleigh of yours, any chance you could hustle up a pair of witty, intelligent, good-looking guys to fall in love with a couple of equally fabulous but strangely single ladies that I know?

Thanks, Santa!

Have a very merry Christmas
Nat
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Happy Christmas to all those who celebrate it and Happy Days Off to those who don't. Hope you get to do many fantastic things...

I'll be back posting more random drivel in 2010, provided I don't loose my fingers in a freak frostbite accident in Norway or get eaten by an Abominable Snowman.

Always look on the bright side of life....