Child's Play

This past weekend, our 16-month-old goddaughter came to visit with her parents and 4-year-old sister. A and M are really delightful children - sweet natured, fun to be around and easy to please. It was the first time, however, that they were coming to stay overnight and we weren’t too sure what to expect. True to form, I went for the “Plan to the Last Detail” option...so in anticipation of their visit, we’d stocked up on what we hoped would be suitable tots’ fare (fish fingers, mini pizzas, frozen peas and chocolate yoghurt pots), we’d dug out all the animated DVDs we own and had researched suitable (hopefully fun) activities in the area.

Within seconds of their arrival, our usually neat and uncluttered childfree couple’s home was snowed under the metric tonne of (necessary) paraphernalia that seems to accompany small people....bright pink and purple miniature coats and dinky boots lined in the hallway, toys and books were strewn across the lounge, a rainbow of plastic plates, non-spill cups and cutlery occupied half the kitchen work surface and there was a game of furniture tetris being played out in the guest bedroom, to accommodate the travel cot and inflatable mattress that had been added to the residential twin beds, wardrobe and sets of drawers.

Their visit coincided with the worst storm to hit Britain in a year...so anything outdoors was ruled out on the Saturday. Instead we took them to an indoor “soft play” centre with loads of slides, ropes and ball pools....and (thankfully) a coffee shop where adults can take refuge. Anyone contemplating parenthood should probably be required to visit places like this as a training exercise....or perhaps an acid test to see if they can hack it. I certainly took strain from the assault on the senses of hordes of excited children letting off steam, tots throwing tantrums left and right (not our party of course!)....and from getting bombarded from all angles by flying plastic pool balls. Quite literally, an in-your-face reminder of why I’m happy to remain on the sidelines as an auntie and godmother, but no more.

The girls had a fabulous time playing and were worn out by the end of the afternoon...which meant they happily had supper, were bathed and in bed well before 7 pm, leaving their exhausted parents (and even wearier godparents) to spend some adult time together. A chicken was roasting in the kitchen oven, we were onto the second bottle of wine and, as it was a chilly night, we thought we’d fire up our rarely used gas stove for a cosy ambience. Pretty soon, a plume of grey smoke started billowing out the front of the stove. At first I didn’t take too much notice, quelling our friends' curious looks, with “Don’t worry; it normally does that, just a bit of dust burning off the surface of the coals”. However, when dense black fumes started filling the lounge, I decided to take a closer look and spied what appeared to be a foil package smouldering on the top of the oven. The package turned out to be a pack of blackcurrant vitamin pastilles, slowly melting into a pool of burnt sugar. It was probably “posted” through the slot at the top of the stove by one of the girls at some point earlier in the day. No serious damage done....once the stove had cooled down and the top plate removed, the congealed syrupy mess could be easily scrapped away. There is a prevailing smell of chargrilled blackcurrants that will probably be with us for a while yet.

By Sunday, the weather had cleared and we were all keen for a bit of fresh air and sunshine. For the first time in the five years we’ve been living in our village, we went down to our local park so the girls could play on the swings...I say girls, but we all had a go, including their 6-foot-7-inches tall Daddy (his legs tucked awkwardly underneath the swing bucket). Not surprisingly, I haven’t been on a swing for a few decades. I found it quite exhilarating....the wind in your hair, the feeling of (almost) flying....it transported me right back to my childhood. Does give a whole new spin on having a “swinging weekend” though...